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Word of the Day: Pamper
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
Have you been working too hard? Are you stressed out? Do you feel ignored or as if you are not being treated fairly?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you need to be pampered.
No, I do not mean you need to wear adult-sized versions of those diapers manufactured by Procter & Gamble.
You need to be given special treatment, made as comfortable as humanly possible and given whatever you want whenever you want it.
Oh, yes, and you should get it for free, but sorry, nothing in life is free.
I can’t help you with that one.
So, how can we make this happen?
I heard Kim Kardashian filed for divorce from Kanye West.
I’m sure she has enough money to pamper you.
On second thought, you’d have to deal with all those paparazzi taking pictures of her butt.
I suppose that could grate on your nerves very quickly.
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Being pampered does come at a price.
Let’s call it butt-flash.
Of course, if you are a straight female, that wouldn’t work.
Wait, Kanye West will be single, and if you hurry, you can catch him on the rebound.
Sure, he’ll come with all the baggage of dating a rapper and former presidential candidate (another loser), but he has money, and money means pampering.
Look at Melanie.
Somehow, she manages to live with Good ol’ Trumpy, The Orange Menace from New York.
Perhaps the reason why she is so pampered is that she has to deal with him crying about why he isn’t the ruler of the universe anymore.
You know, maybe you don’t need to be pampered.
All you need is a canned highball and a box of chocolate-covered almonds from 7-11.
Flesch-Kincaid Readability Test
This post is understandable by someone with at least a 7th-grade education (age 12).
On the Flesch-Kincaid reading-ease test, this post scores 79.
The easier a passage is to read, the higher the score on a scale of 0 – 100.